"If you always do what you always done you always get what you always got." Old Adage

Some people wonder if it is really possible to be “stress free.” I’ve had several people tell me they cannot meditate because they simply have too much stress. They’ve “tried and just can’t” do it.

To be completely honest… I can totally relate.

I think for those who have known me only in recent years this comes as a surprise. Truth is years ago I was extremely “stressed out” and very high strung. As a child growing up in poverty I never knew life with out stress. Honestly, I didn’t know any better. Nor did I realize we were “poor.” Stress is just as much a social experience for the poor as it is a personal one. It's sometimes difficult to realize there is a change to make when everyone is sharing an experience.

Where I come from it was “normal” for everyone around me to have stress. Everyone just showed this differently. To me stress was a normal way of life and seemingly very much out of my control. "You just learn to deal" was a common phrase.

From very early in my life racing thoughts kept me from being able to focus for very long. Not realizing the effects of stress I thought this was simply something I would have to "learn to deal" with. It wasn't until I was into my late 20's that I decided I would do something different. I had heard of people learning to have relief from stress through meditation. I decided to meditate to find relief from stress.

With practice and determination I did just that. Eventually I feel I found peace and inner happiness. Many people ask me: How did you do it? Well, I decided to make a change. I decided I didn't have to be hard on myself if I missed a day. I decided to let all of the weighted thoughts I was holding onto go. I decided I would change my life. I decided that I was important and deserved to have happiness. I decided to love myself enough to let the past go.

There was no magic pill, no high paid doctor, and no big secret. Very simply I put my energy into making a different choice.

Is it really that simple? The short answer is: Yes.

I spent years holding on to thoughts that things were out of my control. I felt sorry for myself and was “depressed” almost continually. One day I decided to simply… not do that anymore. It is amazing what we can accomplish just by first making a choice to do something differently. You are in control of changes in your life. No one else can make them for you.

Now some might think that a person (er, um… me) claiming to have relief from stress is probably a person who has their head in the clouds. I’ll be the first to admit this might be true ;)Some might think this is too simple, that I don't understand what others are going through. Some might also think this so called “stress free person” could only be someone who doesn’t live in the real world. I remember having the very same thoughts myself.

To be stress free must mean no money concerns, worries, or relationship difficulties.

Yet, this is not true. I am no different than you. The difference is how we choose to react to seemingly stressful events and experiences. I choose to have a peaceful experience. You can choose to have a peaceful experience too. It didn't happen overnight but it did happen. I chose to stick with peaceful thoughts. By making this choice a peaceful experience was not far to follow. I now work hard to teach peace to those near me through my peaceful actions. Setting an example of peace is the best way to learn peace.

So the question I’m posing today is: When we live in stressful situations how can we stop the stressors in our lives?

Some questions you might ask yourself are:

Whose stress is it? If it isn’t yours don’t own it.

Are there things I can do to change what I am experiencing?

What are my stress triggers?

How do I react to stressors?

What role am I playing in this stress?

Is there anything different I can do?


Stress can be a convenient diversion to keep from looking within ourselves. We have to ask ourselves what motivation we have to keep stress in our lives. What excuses do we make for our stress? What excuses do we make to keep us from making change? What excuses keep us from inner peace? If the answer to any of the above quesitons involve blame or guilt of any form (yourself or the "other") I encourage you to treat yourself and all others with unconditional Love. Remembering that we can forgive both ourself and the other can bring amazing results in spiritual growth.

Stress can also be a diversion from other things going on in our life as well. What if we decided to work through those things? What then? (Counseling can be a great source for doing this and I must note I am not a counselor) What would happen if we chose to do something different?

The key is Do something and "do something different" might be even better.

“If you always do what you always done you always get what you always got.”